Most of us would like to be
looser and more relaxed, but we literally don't know how. Generally
we are either engaged in frenetic activity to keep our demons at
bay, or sunk into depressed lethargy, exhausted by working so hard.
We have to take ourselves by the hand and teach ourselves to relax.
Herbert Benson published The
Relaxation Response in 1975 as a study of the effects of Transcendental
Meditation on the body. His little book has become one of the most
important resources there is for people dealing with stress, anxiety,
and depression. Benson removed the mysticism from TM and left the
discipline — the exercises, breathing, posture — intact.
He found that regular meditation, which he called deep relaxation,
had a number of effects on the body. In the short run there was
a decrease in heart rate, respiration, blood pressure, muscle tension
and an increase in alpha wave activity in the brain. Over the long
run, it was found that regular deep relaxation resulted in a reduction
of anxiety and an increase in feeling of well being, as well as
important cardiovascular improvements.
Benson's approach is easily
self-taught. You must find a quiet environment with a comfortable
place to sit where you won't be disturbed for a half hour. Spend
the first few minutes consciously focusing on points of muscle tension
in your body, willing the tension to flow out of those points to
be replaced by a feeling of warmth and relaxation. Sit upright,
either on a pad in a Yoga position or in a comfortable chair with
feet on the floor and back supported. Concentrate on your breathing
— count your breaths and make them regular — or on a word
or phrase that has meaning for you. Adopt a passive attitude —
visualize a tranquil pool. When thoughts intrude into your consciousness,
visualize them as bubbles in the pool, rising to the surface only
to dissipate in gentle ripples. Lose self-consciousness — do
not evaluate how you are doing, just concentrate on your rhythmic
breathing. Set a timer so that you don't have to worry about the
length of your meditation session.
With practice, you'll find that
the half-hour you spend in relaxation becomes something that you
don't want to miss because it feels so good. And it also has other
effects — it makes us less anxious and gives us better perspective.
We "lighten up" and become more creative and vital.
There are a number of other
ways of achieving relaxation, including progressive muscle relaxation
and guided imagery meditation, which are equally effective. Jon
Kabat-Zin's book Full Catastrophe Living is a good resource.
Of course, there are other, more traditional, ways of relaxing.
Prayer, in the sense of communing with God, is one. Walking, when
it can be performed as a focus of attention in itself, can permit
the passive attitude of meditation at the same time as exercising
the body. Sports which demand concentration — swimming, golf,
tennis — can have the same result (of course you don't want
to be caught up in a competitive spirit, but to pay attention to
the movement of your body and its interaction with the forces of
nature). Journal writing is a form of meditation. Intimate conversation
can take us out of ourselves and help us relax, as can reading a
good book, taking a warm bath, weeding the garden. The important
element to add to all these more traditional pursuits is Benson's
"passive attitude" — don't worry about the results, trust that
the process itself is good for you, concentrate on the experience.