Play

Most of us have to learn to take better care of ourselves. One way is by spending more time in play. The perfectionist, the depressive, the person who thinks he doesn't deserve to feel pleasure, believes that he'd better never let his guard down, always be busy, always be productive. But itĚs a joyless existence if all we care about is getting the work done. Something as simple as playing catch with the dog for a few minutes after work connects us with a part of ourselves we can lose only too easily — the child who can laugh, who can enjoy silliness, mindless physical activity.

Play changes moods. Play can lift depression. Sad children, coaxed into play, can smile and laugh and forget their sadness. We've all wheedled a grumpy 12-year-old into playing Monopoly on a summer night. After a while, the grumping is gone. It may come back but in the meantime parent and child have had a shared enjoyable experience that wouldn't have happened if anyone had tried to analyze or solve the child's problem. We adults are no different from the grumpy 12-year-old. Our moods are subject to change. Sometimes we resist the invitation to play because if we played we might feel better, and then wouldn't we feel foolish for feeling as grumpy as we did? But we can't depend on others to keep calling us out to play. We have to make our own opportunities.

Play is not work. You can't make play out of an activity whose purpose is to accomplish something, but it's fine if you accomplish something while you're playing.

Play is usually physical. Our bodies are engaged. We move, we use our large muscles, we can sweat.

Play often involves a conscious abandonment of dignity, sometimes by putting us into roles or positions that are outside our usual behavior.

Play usually involves others. Solitary play is OK if there is no one available, but it's more fun with other people.

Play involves being spontaneous, doing what our impulses tell us. Spontaneity helps us lose self-consciousness, which seems to be a major point of play.

I think the fact that animals play should tell us that play is part of nature, that we need to play to live. Carol Tavris writes: "For some of the large indignities of life, the best remedy is direct action. For the small indignities, the best remedy is a Charlie Chaplin movie. The hard part is knowing the difference