Many depressed parents are
deeply ashamed of their anger at their own children, and a great
deal of child abuse results from parental depression. Children know
when parents are depressed, and it scares them, because they don't
know if the parent is going to be capable of caring for them. When
children are scared, they often become more demanding and difficult.
Mom gets to feel even more depressed because her children won't
listen to her. Mom alternates between withdrawal and rage. It's
an explosive combination. The same dynamics apply in elder abuse.
Caregivers in this position need real help. We've found that a combination
of psychotherapy and medication for the depression with concrete,
practical, in-home support and guidance in effective skills —
in parenting or in caregiving for the elderly — makes the difference.